Bibliograph

Men with balls, the professional athlete's handbook, Drew Magary ; illustrated by Christopher Brand ; additional artwork by Kevin Richards and Dan Vail

Type

Label

Men with balls, the professional athlete's handbook, Drew Magary ; illustrated by Christopher Brand ; additional artwork by Kevin Richards and Dan Vail

Language

eng

Illustrations

illustrations

Index

no index present

Literary Form

non fiction

Main title

Men with balls

Nature of contents

dictionaries

Oclc number

847845878

Responsibility statement

Drew Magary ; illustrated by Christopher Brand ; additional artwork by Kevin Richards and Dan Vail

Sub title

the professional athlete's handbook

Summary

This will be the very last book you ever read. Because after you have read this book, you, Good Sir, will know how to be a pro athlete. And pro athletes don't need books. Or strong family bonds. Or any of that stupid crap. Not when they have ready access to millions of dollars and scores of smoking hot chicks with questionable judgment. This book will be all you require to cast aside your boring life as some jackass who cruises around bookstores hoping to score grad-school trim. With Men with Balls, you will learn how to: Showboat using classical pantomime techniques /> Figure out whether or not a stripper actually fancies you /> Emotionally cope from the emotional fallout of rookie year hazing games /> Find out which free locker room amphetamines will give you a shot of energy, and which will cause you to run down terrified schoolchildren with your Escalade (NOTE: Some do both) /> Avoid media scrutiny by directing beat writers and columnists to the nearest hot buffet>> /> So grab your balls, bookboy. You're about to become a home-run hitting, steroid-injecting, angry-orgy-having Turbostud. They're gonna need a whole ocean just to wash your jock

Table Of Contents

Getting to know you and your balls : an introduction to pro athletedom -- It's not just a sport, it's now a soul-crushing job : on the field -- Hot naked men : teammates/the locker room -- They're like bosses, except they like hitting you : coaches and management -- "Don't you people have homes?" : fame and fans -- The best and worst part of athletic superstardom : women -- A study in anchors : your friends and family -- Favored children of the Antichrist : the media -- "What do you mean, she wants to press charges?" : trouble -- It's about goddamn time : money -- It's not whoring if you're famous : endorsements and extending yourself outside of sports -- It's like dying in advance! : retirement

Classification